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Author note: No real dates have been harmed in the writing of this blog 😉

So once over the initial shock of finding the rules of engagement in dating had changed – I was delighted to have a co-conspirator.

Many a time in the last couple of years I have expressed that I felt like a teenager again – with all the angst, drama and agonising. Oh, the joy then to have my very own BFF to share it all with.

When life got ridiculously hard and beyond crazy I had someone that I could say what I wanted to, that would listen and be there for me. Right there from that first Saturday night when I was home alone I had a partner in crime. She comes round – on goes the laptop – and we start looking at ‘what’s out there’ on the internet dating sites.

When my ‘actual’ teenage daughter walks in the room, we close the laptop real quick and say ‘Hi sweetie, we’re just, erm…..shopping?’

The beauty of internet dating is it’s like a sweet shop. It costs nothing to look. And can then provide a source of constant entertainment. OK – soapbox moment – if all you have is a few lines to ‘advertise’ yourself – why would you put your profile name as ‘Alphamale’ or say ‘I’m rubbish at this sort of thing….’. There is an art to internet dating profile writing. Read what Amy Webb has to say about it in her TED talk.


For many, intelligence is attractive, for me, personally, literacy is a must – any spelling mistakes meant the person would be instantly dismissed.

One profile I really liked the guy had written it as if it was the opening chapter of a book….about a boy meets girl (or man meets woman) blind date moment…..written beautifully, with wit, great descriptive language etc etc I thought wow this is one smart guy. Then when I initiated contact he was straight into a slightly inappropriate comment……so there you go. A brain isn’t everything.

So – looking is free. You don’t have to sign up, subscribe, show your personal profile or anything to begin with. A few hours of gawking however leaves you wondering…..what if.

Too scared to ‘sign up’ myself initially my BFF did this for me – and those first few tentative likes were clicks from her mouse, not mine. Then the waiting…will they respond…

Lesson No. 1. If you sleep with your phone next to you, turn off the volume when you go to bed. Nothing worse than being woken in the night to find ‘Tom’ has send you a smile – because you know curiosity will get the better of you and you’ll want to read his full profile.

Lesson No. 2 – Turn off all your email notifications. Slightly embarrassing to be sitting in a meeting at work and your messages ‘pop up’ on your phone for the person next to you to see ‘You have a flirt.’

Lesson No. 3 – Close all your browser windows on your work phone/tablet before you hand over to the IT guy to fix something – or you’ll have a slightly embarrassing moment as they see what you spend your lunchtime doing…

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